After his accidental inclusion in the White House Signal group chat, Jeff Goldberg came out with shocking new information. In a recent interview, Goldberg revealed that this group chat wasn’t his only inclusion, as he claimed that he was also added to a Discord server titled R.P.U., which he later went on to explain stood for “Red Pill United.” He had also claimed that, according to Vance, Yemen wasn’t the only country that Trump had been planning to airstrike, as there were an additional 37 European countries, including both Russia and Ukraine.
But perhaps the strangest news came from more casual moments in the group chat. When plans were being made to order lunch, Pete Hegseth asked for suggestions, RFK. Jr would, without fail, say that he “could go for some compost rn 🤤.” At one point, someone tried to ask if it was a typo. He replied with a photo of a worm bin and left the chat for 36 hours.
However, the biggest news revealed from the group chat came when Trump expressed his desire to be the only U.S. president for the rest of history. He reportedly floated the idea of deleting the two-term amendment. But the group ran into a shared concern with this idea: aging. The White House secretly developed a de-aging machine that allegedly caused the recent unexplained global power outage to address this.
The machine, while successful in reversing physical age, came with one major flaw: it also removed all the memories they had growing up. The first test subject was none other than J.D. Vance, whose transformation was leaked to the internet thanks to Mr. Goldberg. Vance reportedly has the IQ of a 3rd Grader, which places him slightly above the average IQ of Trump’s entire Cabinet.
