Welcome back to the mental health section of BQ Broadside! This time, I want to dive into something that isn’t always talked about: the fine line between self-care and self-sabotage. Read on to find out how self-care can sometimes become more of a distraction than a solution and what it could really mean to take care of yourself.
Self-care has become a buzzword, a seemingly harmless concept, which is supposed to be about rest, balance, and actually taking care of yourself. But somewhere along the way, it feels as though the line between self-care and self-indulgence got blurry. What started as a way to recharge has, for some, turned into a way to avoid discomfort, slack off, or even make excuses for selfishness. At what point does “taking a break” just become running from challenges? When does “putting yourself first” start to mean neglecting responsibilities and relationships?
According to Saadia, an intern working with our school’s social worker, self-care isn’t necessarily toxic, but it can become unhelpful when it’s not done mindfully. “When you’re just doing it to do it or because it’s trendy, it’s not actually helping you,” she explains. “Self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. It takes trial and error to figure out what truly works for you, and that happens when you’re in tune with your own needs.” Instead of blindly following what works for others, she emphasizes the importance of going into self-care with an open mind and recognizing what you may need and when you actually need it. If it’s not helping in the moments you need it most, then it’s not really self-care, it could just be another distraction.
Social media and big businesses don’t quite help. Companies advertise the idea that self-care means expensive skincare, overpriced candles, and taking entire days off just to “rest.” While on the other hand, influencers post aesthetic routines that make it seem like self-care is all about taking bubble baths and applying face masks. But real self-care isn’t always pretty, it could simply just be setting boundaries, staying disciplined, and doing hard things even when you don’t feel like it. Mindfulness means being aware of what you actually need, not just what feels good in the moment (something which has been on the rise for quite a while). If self-care starts holding you back instead of helping you grow, then it’s not really self-care anymore.
So, forget what everyone else says self-care should look like, there’s no one right way to do it. The key is being mindful and figuring out what actually works for you. Your version of self-care might look completely different from someone else’s, and that’s okay. Take inspiration from others, try different things, and pay attention to what genuinely helps you feel balanced and recharged. At the end of the day, real self-care isn’t about following a trend, it’s about learning to take care of yourself in a way that actually makes a difference!