Category: The Bonion
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Elon Musk Officially Declares Himself a Living Meme, Finalizing his Online Citizenship and Putting X Æ A-Xii Up For Adoption by Steve Gonzalez ’26
During an interview with Newsmax host Rob Schmitt, Elon Musk announced to the crowd “I am Become Meme” with an underwhelming reaction from the audience. After this interview was over, he went on public record to say that he officially declared himself a “meme” after scrolling through TikTok and 𝕏. He requested to be taken…
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Nico Harrison Reveals Future Trade Deals After Recent Luka Trade by Lazarus Castillo-Lopez ’26 and Steve Gonzalez ’26
After his recent decision to trade Luka Dončić for Anthony Davis Harrison received major negative backlash, Nico Harrison called a press conference to clear up any misconceptions about the trade and reveal future trade decisions to the public. Before initiating the conversation, Harrison offered his $1,200 Golden 24 Karat American Wagyu Tomahawk Steak to a…
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Jake Paul Challenges President Biden to Enter the Ring by Lazarus Castillo-Lopez ’26 and Steve Gonzalez ’26
Following Jake Paul’s recent boxing match in which he emerged victorious over Mike Tyson, Paul deduced that logically his next opponent would have to be president Joseph R. Biden, stating that, “After my flawless victory over Tyson in the ring, I’m looking for an opponent who’s a little more experienced.” By calling Joe Biden into…